Birth Story | Welcome Indie
Waiting for my boy to arrive felt like groundhog day in the end. Waking up every day, “okay I didn’t go into labor last night, one more day to tackle.” I would wake and devote my time and energy to the day before me. Like if I had just one more day to prepare for his arrival, what can I accomplish today? It was a really beautiful moment in time for me that I cannot say I have ever experienced in my adult life. I only briefly had a handful of moments arrive where I felt angst and restlessness. It was all a truly preparation for settling into the present. I know now it was most definitely setting me up for his arrival. I have been able to dissolve so sweetly into this time in a way I am so grateful for.
the unfolding of Indie’s birth—
It was Thursday April 6th, I was rounding the corner to 40 weeks, 39w 4d to be exact.
I had my weekly routine visit to the OBGYN that morning. Before heading in, I consulted with Ryan, “so if I go in there and I am still 4cm dilated and haven’t progressed at all, what should I do?”
I had been at 4cm, 70% effaced for two weeks. In those same weeks, I was doing all the things to encourage progression. Sex, spicy food, hours on the ball, yoga poses, miles circuit, long walks every day, curb walking, walking stairs, running stairs lol. Drinking the tea, eating so. much. pineapple. Cat cow. Malasana squat. Literally one of everything!! To my surprise that morning I had not progressed any more in that week.
Chatting with the OB, she said I could schedule an elective induction for the next weekend, as they don’t like to see you cross over 41 weeks with your second baby as the placenta begins to calcify and getting nutrients would be better suited earth side. When she mentioned waiting another week, my thought was, he’s cooked, I am not trying to have a home birth or do it naturally, etc why would I wait one more week so he can get bigger? lol
She said I could schedule for as soon as the next day as she agreed, he’s cooked! Lets get him out.
I ended up scheduling for April 8th, that Saturday. Basically they would call me that morning and tell me when I could come in and they would start pitocin. Baby had been engaged in my pelvis for 3 months, head down, facing back, never changing positions. He was so ready, she said it would happen fast once pitocin began.
I did decide to have my membranes swept too. This was part of my intention for this appointment. It is a more natural way to induce and I was praying that it would kick me into labor before Saturday so that my body would begin on its own. The doc said “I swept 4 people last week and the only one that didn’t go into labor within 12 hours was a first time mom who was only dilated to 1cm…”. I wasn’t going to hold my breath as everything this pregnancy has been different than I thought it would be! So I said cool, lucky them, lets see what happens for me!
I left my appt and headed to run a few errands.
I was crampy leaving the office, but that was normal post cervical check. I felt kinda delicate but that was typical for getting swept— its quite the experience haha.
I returned home, rested a bit, cleaned the house, and in the evening Yael, my mom, and I made banana muffins. I was crampy and having really random contractions. Nothing big though. Cramps and sporadic contractions were happening for weeks, so I was still remaining very neutral. Not reading into anything.
The contractions were getting a little stronger than just regular braxton hicks, but nothing stopping me and nothing happening at regular intervals. The night proceeded, we go through all the regular nighttime things, I notice at 10pm that contractions are happening more frequently. I start to track the timing, 12 minutes, 10 minutes, 17 minutes— I think to myself okay once I stop moving around and I settle into bed all this will stop.
I get into bed at 11:30-ish, I turn off my show at 11:45pm and I roll over to go to sleep and its like a switch flipped. The contractions started to get more intense, I notice they are happening close together too. I start tracking again, 4 minutes, 2 minutes, 7 minutes, 3 minutes. I’m like okay these will probably stop once I relax.
I begin having to close my eyes tight and consciously breathe through them. Ryan is dozing next to me and I am just breathing big big breaths. I keep tracking, they start to get closer together, 4 min, 3 min, 2 min, 2 min. I’m like WOOF, I tell Ryan “these are really big and happening so close together, maybe I should get in the bath”. He calls the nurse and she’s says if this is happening for an hour to go in.
In my mind, I am having flashbacks to having prodromal labor with Yael. We didn’t know what was happening in the moment because I was convinced it was all real, and we went to the hospital three times and they kept sending us home saying it was false labor. I was so scared to be wrong if this wasn’t the real thing AND I knew that because I had induction scheduled for Saturday, maybe there would be options once we arrived if this was all fake.
Still contemplating getting into the tub, Ryan on the phone with the nurse, she’s trying to ask me questions on speaker phone and I am leaning over the counter in the kitchen, cannot talk, just have to breathe the tightening is so intense.
Ryans like “I am calling your mom and we are going in, the shower is not going to fix this.” Funny in hindsight as we might have delivered the baby at home if we waited longer.
We head to the hospital and I still have a slice of doubt in my mind, this is all going to stop once I get in the car.
I found this in my photos lol my all time fav hype song carrying me
Ryan tells me to get some music on in the car, contractions haven’t wavered! I put on my “When I am Back” playlist I have been compiling over the last several weeks of being off teaching. We have a 25 minutes drive, so about 10-12 contractions later, I’m Good by Griz blasting.
We arrive. I waddle and pause and breathe and waddle and pause and breathe, get into triage. They check my cervix, I am over 7cm and 90% effaced and baby is on his way out! Its about 1:30am.
It takes almost an hour to get the epidural. Everything was progressing SO fast, I wanted relief so I could stay in my body, stay with my breath, be present for his arrival. I talk about this in my Birth Story with Yael, the epidural truly brought me back into my body. I let this be an option for myself this time where last time it was a shameful last resort AND I am so grateful I allowed the permission for it this time without the shame and guilt of “aren’t I supposed to do this without this”. In my experience with Yael’s birth, I know without a doubt because I had the help of the epidural, I was able to push for 20 minutes and really focus and get her out.
Having the epidural was vastly different this time initially. I had it in for 25 minutes and was still in excruciating pain during each contraction. I asked the nurses “when will it kick in” “it usually takes 30 minutes!” I was like… so in 5 minutes its just going to begin ? lol. I was feeling no relief, in fact the pain moved from my belly and into my back.
With Yael, I had only back labor and I am truly still recovering. I have a bulging disc and a sprain in my s1 joint that are remnants. I am constantly nursing and maintaining it day to day. It was strange to me that once the epidural was in, all my contractions suddenly moved to my back. They tried switching me from side to side hoping the medicine would balance out but it was still taking the breath out of me each contraction.
Midwives came in and said there were 3 of us mamas total that came in at the same time and that there were only 2 doctors on the floor that night. They asked if I minded if they work with me and I said no!! I feel as if I manifested them there. After Yael I said I wanted to work with the midwives the next time around, but I started this pregnancy with a lot of deficiencies I felt more comfortable having a more medical approach.
The midwives I have experience in life are the most caring, nurturing, motherly women in all the land. Truly! We interacted with them in triage the 3 times we went to the hospital during labor with Yael and every time they were so caring and made me feel so seen in the midst of what I was experiencing. They always gave great suggestions for helping me navigate whereas the medical staff I had experienced was all “go home, take a tylenol for pain and a benedryl for sleep. this is fake.” Very different approaches!
They came in the room, and they could see I was still experiencing a lot of pain, they suggested immediately we get me off my back and on to all 4’s with the support of a bean bag in front of me. They started to press my hips in and up on each contraction and it was a GAME CHANGER. It was relief for the first time in 3 hours.
After 10 minutes they mentioned to me, we can break your water and everything will happen faster! I asked to wait just a little bit so I could rest a little now that I was finding relief each contraction. 10 min later, they came in looked again and said that my water sack was bulging, ready to pop, they could pop for me if I was ready and I was like lets go! Its time!
A few moments later they said when you are feeling the urge to push let us know. The lead midwife said when you feel ready to push against the tightening of the contraction, it would be time to push.
It came so fast, I was like I think I am ready!
When the contraction would rise, they said to come off all fours, and push back like I was going to sit on my heels. Pushing down, I would deliver baby in this position. First push came, I breathed big full breaths, all the way down and out. I felt his head move down into my pelvis lower and lower.
Contraction ended, I pulled forward and I returned to my breath, I knew that it would not be long, I felt his head so low, I knew if I focused my energy down and out, he would come out.
Contraction started to rise, I started taking big full breaths and I sat up and back, it was all about the breath! I breathed so big, down and out, focusing my energy on bearing down, they said “okay pause for one second! and now BIG push!”
Ring of FIRE, I felt his WHOLE head come down and out, the greatest opening of all time lol !!! and he slid right out! Ryan caught his head from underneath and pushed him up and through my legs, I grabbed him and pulled him into my chest!
IT was a WHIRLWIND!!! IT happened so fast I was truly in disbelief! We have a video of right after and I am holding him literally saying “was that it?! is this the baby?!” I was in shock!
I flipped over on my back, held my sweet love, daddy cut the cord. It was so wild to me to see what he looked like after all this time. Because Ryan and I’s genes are so different I couldn’t possibly imagine what he might look like. He came out looking so much more like a Stryker than a Monte and I thought the chances of that were so slim as Yael came out FULL Monte!
I couldn’t believe he was here. My sweet lover boy. His essence is so the same as I ever felt it was when I would look at my belly the whole 9 months. It was so powerful to feel like we had just met but like I had known him all along. My sweet baby blessing.
Indie — Means Independent and Gift of God
Valen — Means Strong and Healthy
Born 4/7
6 Pounds 15 oz, 20 3/4 inches, at 4 am.
Having been through 2 labors now, what I would tell any woman about to embark—
Stay open. Have a plan. But stay open. Communicate what you want AND more importantly, what you need. Even if its just a popsicle. For me, I was cracking jokes in between contractions and we were laughing together and allowing me to be myself I felt instantly comfortable with my birth team. It felt so personal and that helped me relax. Whatever offers you the most presence is what I would recommend. <3
