Giving yourself a time out.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you might remember something I initiated within this community (and more importantly within myself!) about a year ago. It was changing your life in just 4 minutes of meditation per day. I’m coming to you today with something a little more, lets say— user friendly!

A few weeks ago I was reading Essentialism and Greg McKeown was talking about how we don't hold time and space and energy to THINK. It doesn't come by default any more, it must come by design. If we don't sit down with the intention to do so, we will not make it happen. We will find more things to do and fill our time with.

Shortly after I had read this section that morning I opened my daily email from the Enneagram Institute and it read, “have you made time for your daily spiritual practice? Try laying down on the floor and doing nothing at all, not even taking notes, for half an hour. Let that be your spiritual practice for today.”

It felt like a divine call to be still. and to just sit and THINK, it was my opportunity to rise to what was being presented. So, I laid on my back, left my phone was on the other side of the room, “Hey siri, set a timer for 30 minutes”. 

I began restless as shit. I began lifting and lowering my legs, might as well do some leg lifts!, “ok” I thought, “this counts as doing something, STOP.”

A few moments later, I began some spinal twists, again catching myself— “Stop… this counts too”. I could hear myself dialoguing with myself. I thought okay just close your eyes, let's do some ujjayi/meditative breathing!!!!!! 

“F*CKING STOP!” I yelled. QUIT. Why must you DO?!
My next thought, “can someone punch me in the face?!”.
“Hey Siri, how much time is left?” “20 minutes and 24 seconds”

A few moments later, I felt myself begin to soften. I became still and I just laid there, staring at the ceiling. Not doing a single thing but… thinking. A really beautiful thing began to happen moments later, I began to have a mental download. I began observing myself, thinking about WHY it's so hard to just THINK. To simply BE. 

“Hey Siri, how much time is left?” “10 minutes and 59 seconds”

I softened more. Okay no more cheating. No more asking Siri. Just Be. 

Kinda felt like I was warring with myself. Maybe not ME, but my typical response. My constant need to be calculating my next step. To be living in the future. I brought myself back to the present, found stillness and just allowed myself to be and to THINK. The timer eventually went off, I sat up, refreshed, kinda feeling like I had just achieved something great, and have been dissecting that experience ever since.

Everything from the moment we are born tells us that we must DO. Its survival instinct. We need food, water, shelter, and we need to be constantly figuring out where to obtain again and again and again. We aren't taught that thinking is part of well being. Its part of being present and alive within ourselves.

So we must retrain. 

I think meditation is a weighted thing “to do”. We can talk ourselves out of it very easily because we aren't good, we don't have time, we don't do it well. Headspace is a complicated thing to get in to and sit with! We are scared to meet ourselves, even though it's the most grounding, fully embodied work we have available to us.

In Essentialism McKeown talks about how Bill Gates schedules a couple weeks per year that are his “Think Weeks”. He gets off the grid and gets present with himself. He masters the beautiful skill of being “unavailable” in order to get inspired, get creative, and take care. What would it look like if we started by booking “think time”?

Ever since discovering this simple thing, I have challenged myself to implement it. I thought at first “I should do this everyday!!!!” but knowing myself, I figured how about I start just by trying it out when I remember to do it. I really want this to work for me and for it to remain valuable. I want thinking time to be something I look forward to and not another thing to put on my todo list like meditation often ends up being. 

And maybe you'll join me. Maybe right here, right now, can you stop and try it out. Maybe 30 minutes, maybe just 10. It's not about mastering mindfulness, it's just about practicing it. We have so much within that we numb out by constantly seeking inspiration, new ideas, belief systems, etc. I often remember the part of the email I received that day had said “let this be your spiritual practice”. 

We are spiritual beings having a human experience— let's reconnect to that.

Us.

You and your presence. 

Let me know how it goes.